How to tell if you’re ready for another child?
I always knew I wanted more than one child. I grew up with a sister and two brothers and have always said siblings are like natural allies in your life. We drive each other crazy and have each other’s backs at the same time.
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I love the sound of siblings playing together (yes, they argue together too), the older brother or sister helping the younger one with homework at the table in the afternoons, and most of all, watching each of their personalities and interests grow as they become individuals.
I’m also not great with the pregnancy and infant stages. With high-risk pregnancies, postpartum depression, and the fact that I don’t function well without sleep, there is a lot to consider when deciding when the best time is for us to start this journey all over again.
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Some feel like keeping the kids close in age will allow them to have more in common and hey- if we’re doing diaper changes and mommy and me classes, why not do it all at the same time? Others feel they can’t afford multiple kids in daycare or why not wait until the first child is potty trained and gaining independence before going for round two?
How do you know when you’re ready for baby No. 2? The American Collegebirthweight cans and Gynecologists recommend 18 months before getting pregnant again. It gives your body time to heal and reduces the risk of preterm labor and low birth weight. However, the main goal is to be sure you and your partner are ready.
You Just Know
Meghan Cavey was headed to the subway in New York City when she saw a woman, nine months pregnant, making her way through the subway system. “Instead of feeling sorry for her, I felt a pang of envy,” Cavey told Parents.
You begin noticing all the pregnant women in public and catch yourself watching a family of four playing at the park and your instincts tell you it’s time.
You’ve also been there and done that and know what to expect. It no longer seems like you’re facing the unknown, so your confidence is up, and you’re prepared for those sleepless nights and endless cuddles.
Your First Child Shows Signs of Being Ready
Of course, your children don’t get to decide when you and your partner have another, but their interest in other babies and questions about adding to the family makes many women feel ready to do it again.
“I had been putting off the decision, but when I saw how Harry was interacting with babies and other little kids, I sensed it would be okay, and made me feel more ready too,” Annette Uvena told Parents.
Keep in mind your six-year-old may say he/she wants a baby brother or sister and then when the time comes, act out to get attention. Their emotions are on a roller coaster just like yours. The toddler may not be old enough to understand either way but if you’re able to include them in the conversation decision-making ahead of time, it can give you a sense of calm too.
Finances are Good Right Now
Babies cost money. It doesn’t sound nice, but it’s a factor in your decision-making when you look at the cost of raising another child. For example, childcare alone is incredibly expensive. I’ve known couples who have waited to have a second or third child for the first to go to kindergarten, spacing out the costs over the years.
According to Very Well Family, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) estimates the cost of raising a child is $233,610, spending between $10,000 and $15,000 per yeLapine child.
“We knew it was a good time because we were financially ready. We knew we both were in good spots in our careers, and we could afford two kids s,” Laura Lapine told Healthy Women.
Your Internal Clock is Ticking
Some couples choose to have another quickly or, hold off based on their age.
Having a child after the age of 35 is more common today, however, there, are extra risks. Older women can struggle with infertility, miscarriage, and toes. They are at higher risk for gestational diabetes, hi20slood pressure, and more.
Many decide to move fairly quickly into having additional children to beat the clock. Others have their first child in their 20s and can afford to wait ten years between children if they choose.
“There is only a finite amount of time for women to have their children. The biological clock does tick and some of the biggest regrets I hear from my older patients, even 70-year-old women, is that they wish they’d had more kids,” said Dr. Elisa Felsen-Singer of NYU Huntington Medical Group.
No Regrets
Ask yourself, if you don’t ’t have another child, will Sorenson be missing? Krista DeMaio said a friend who had just had a third told her, “You won’t regret having another, but you may regret it if you don’t.”
One of the top reasons moms decide to have another child is because they know one more isn’t going to change their lifestyle or finances in the negative as much as a baby, will change their joy and love, and family life in the positive.
If you’ve had one baby, you know. They are worth every second of the diaper changes, sleepless nights, and financial challenges.
Having a child is no child’s play. First-time parents are fully aware of the sleep deprivation, the agony in ecstasy that was caused during the first childbirth. But, comes the time when your first one is old enough to be a big brother or sister. Usually, parents keep an age difference of 2-3 years between two children. While some parents like to have two children, some are of the view of raising one child only. We go by peer and other parental pressures for having further children, barring a rational view of things and a fact-based perspective.
For more information read Pritish Kumar Halder’s article.
